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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854366">if only i could be yours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniquelyCommon/pseuds/UniquelyCommon'>UniquelyCommon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>An attempt was made at humor, College AU, Drinking, F/M, Heavy angst later on, Intoxication, Masturbation, Panic Attack, SasuSaku - Freeform, Sasuke is sexually frustrated, more tags to be added later on, night club</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2018-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2018-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:29:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,984</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniquelyCommon/pseuds/UniquelyCommon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With what started with lust and turned to love, Sasuke attempts to untangle his feelings and complicated relationship with his pink-haired classmate, Sakura. The deeper he goes the more secrets he discovers, secrets that might change them forever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I started writing this on a whim sometime during 2018, but kept the files mostly private until now. I have decided to make them public to share with the entirety of the fandom.</p><p>I do have a whole plan fleshed out for this story, but as I am taking a temporary leave of absence from the fandom I may not pick it up for a while. But I do have intentions of finishing this.</p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Uchiha Sasuke was uncomfortable, embarrassingly so. As he sat in the hard plastic lecture hall chairs that were nearly too small for his frame he contemplated how life was so incredibly unfair. There, a row down from him, sat none other than Haruno Sakura.</p><p>He felt like a horny teenager around her, which was saying a lot as he had never in his twenty one years of life felt even so much as a spark of passion for another individual. It was just her - her boldness and beauty. She never failed to lighten up his day with her enthusiasm and overabundance of optimism, though he never let her see. </p><p>From the day they had met at freshman orientation she ignited a spark in him that would never die down. Three years had only served to fan the flames as they gravitated towards each other, but neither had the courage to admit their feelings.</p><p>This time all it took was her flashing that beautiful smile before she took a seat before he felt heat pool in his groin. Which lead to his current problem as he shifted, trying to discreetly find a comfortable position. </p><p>It had been an hour of him trying to will down his erection before he resigned and gave up trying to pay attention. His pen lay forgotten against his metal-ringed binder. The low voice of the calculus teacher, Dr Hatake, became a monotonous drone as his focus tunneled on nothing but the features of the pinkette situated in front of him. He was too classy to sneak off to relieve himself in the bathroom, and opted to wait until he was safely in his own dorm room. He ran his hands over his face and through his wild hair as he was lost in a memory of her smile and singsong giggles.</p><p>His focus only wavered by the sound of his classmates packing up and filing out of the lecture hall. He watched as she stood up and all the rest of the blood drained from his head as he was gifted with a perfect view of her ass.</p><p>Trying to discreetly cover his “problem” with his pack he slipped out quickly to make the walk to his dorm.</p><p>His idiotic dobe of a roommate, Uzumaki Naruto, had a class ending a half an hour after his, so he often took advantage of the time while he had it.</p><p>He shimmied his tie loose and his hand ran through his inky locks before slumping down on his dorm chair. He lay back in the chair before reaching down and unzipping his pants to free himself from the tightness he had felt ever since two class periods ago. His cock was so hard it ached and it sprang free after some maneuvering. It was so damn difficult to focus with her vanilla perfume wafting his way and her silky, long cherry locks peeking over from the seat in front of him. Everyday he had to sit behind her was torture. </p><p>If only she knew how much just her very presence effected him, intoxicated his mind and senses, and if only he could tell her just how he felt instead of inevitably pushing her away. Too many “<em>if onlys</em>” stood in between them. </p><p>He gripped his cock firmly, giving himself a rough upward stroke, twisting his foreskin around the head, the kind of motion that always made him have to muffle his groan into his hand to avoid being heard though the paper thin walls of the dormitory hall. This happened too often, sneaking off to his dorm room in secret to empty himself onto a tissue. Before her he had never found himself so constantly hard and focused on relief; only she could tear down his walls and effect him so deeply.</p><p>He imagined his hand was the hot, wet heat of her mouth engulfing his cock, her tongue running under the head. Looking down and seeing emerald irises staring him dead in the eyes as her head bobbed up and down on his cock, taking him skillfully all the way to the base. He could picture himself reaching up to grab a fist full of shiny tresses at the crown of her head, urging her ministrations on as he leans back, his back arching from pleasure. Then pulling her off to rest her back in the bed so he could bury himself in her warmth, his cock slick with her saliva.</p><p>Imagining sliding inside her, filling her to the hilt was always almost cathartic for him. Hearing her sweet moans as he tweaked her nipples between his thumb and fore-finger and thrusted into her heat a particularly hard time, their pelvises meeting. He would always imagine how tight she would be and would grip his cock with his fist harder for emphasis. </p><p>He pumped his cock ferociously while visualizing fucking her. Everything pink, her hair, her lightly flushed face down to the hue of her center where they joined. He would reach down between them to flick her clit and feel her spasm in quick jolts around him, hugging him like a glove. He would shower her in kisses from her plump lips to her smooth neck to her pebbling nipples. He could imagine her head tilted back, eyes screwed shut as her perfect rosy lips, swollen from his attack on them, parted in pleasure, her tongue snaking out to wet them absentmindedly.</p><p>He can see the sheen on her skin from the exertion of their lovemaking, reaching down to lick a bead of sweat off of her shoulder. He would work his way to her collar bone leaving a trail of love-marks in his wake, proof that she belonged to him, that she would always belong to him.</p><p>His hands would wander, kneading flesh possessively, before capturing her hands above her head. He always envisioned her writhing underneath his hold as he fucked her throughly, his name leaving her lips in a chant. Bending his head down he would whisper dirty words into her ear - how wet and tight she is, how much he loved to hear his name from her lips, how she was completely and irrevocably his.  </p><p>Then suddenly the mounting pressure and pleasure became too much and his mind exploded in a ball of hot white. He imagined her reaching the pinnacle with him, practically screaming out his name as she seized under him, her hips rolling against his shallow thrusts, her center clamping down on his cock. He imagined climaxing into the depths of her heat, filling her with his seed. He couldn’t stop from meekly calling out her name, muffled by his hand, as he emptied himself in quick short bursts.</p><p>His fist against his cock slowed and his shoulders slackened in relief. He wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his non-masturbatory hand and stopped to catch his breath. He waited for his pants to slow into steady, even breaths, and the afterglow of his orgasm to wear off before he was suddenly aware of his surroundings.</p><p>He realized he had taken entirely too long and had been too engrossed in his fantasy that he had came all over his hands, pants, and shirt without even thinking to grab a tissue. He sighed and began to think of a way to clean up the mess when he heard the familiar clinking of his roommates key entering the lock and the click of it disengaging. </p><p>His heart hammered in his ears and his face turned a bright shade of tomato. He panicked, that idiot Naruto could not witness what he had been doing. He stuffed himself back in his pants and stared down hopelessly at the rapidly drying cum everywhere. He had no time to cover it before his hopelessly unaware roommate came bounding in soon after turning the handle.</p><p>“Sasuke-teme, you’ll never guess what this asshole said to me—“</p><p>The blond stopped mid-sentence to gape at the scene before him. His vision shifted to the very noticeable semen stain covering Sasuke’s clothes to his roommates pathetic attempts to hide his obvious flustered state. It donned on the otherwise idiot just who his sulking and wildly embarrassed obsidian-haired friend may have been thinking of as he got himself off. His parted mouth slowly creeped into a wide toothy, smile.</p><p>“Teme, you—-oof, what the <em>fuck</em> Sasuke, you are going to get it all over—!”</p><p>He didn’t get time to complete his sentence before Sasuke promptly kneed him in the stomach and picking him up by the scruff of his neck, stalking back to the ajar door.</p><p>“Naruto, get the fuck out of the room, <em>NOW</em>!”</p><p>He kicked Naruto by the ass out into the hallway and slammed the door behind him, the whole hallway shook from the impact, but he didn’t care. His face was hot with embarrassment and shame for having been caught in the aftermath of something so private.</p><p>He knew something for certain: if he ever saw the dobe’s face again he was fucking dead.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a mutual silence between them after Naruto walked in on him relieving himself. Naruto had dropped the situation, much to Sasuke’s relief and nearly homicidal demands. He could beat the idiot’s ass any day anyways, had he not stayed quiet about it. </p><p>A week had gone by and he found the cycle repeating, masturbating until completion in his dorm room, fantasizing about her bent over his desk as he fucked her, his hand in her hair. He was beginning to realize that he had a serious problem, and had no idea how to fix it.</p><p>One Saturday evening he found himself being convinced  by the idiot to go drinking at his favorite club. He had been begging Sasuke to come for weeks, but he wasn't a clubbing or drinking kind of guy. Finally the nagging had reached its breaking point and he yelled, "Enough, I'll come!" And Naruto was delighted.</p><p>It was chilly out when they arrived, the moon casting a haunting glow on the streets.</p><p>The air smelled of cigarettes and must as they entered the club. The club was run-down but was close and a common place for the students to hang out and binge-drink during the weekends. There was a dance floor with booming music and strobe lights, sometimes the floor was slick with spilled alcohol as people jumped and stumbled over themselves while dancing with a cup. Naruto immediately pulled him to a table and went to order them their first round of drinks. Sasuke took the chance to look around.</p><p>He was scanning the crowd and was shocked when his eyes landed on Sakura. She was sitting at a table on the other side of the room, a drink in her hand as she chatted away to the others seated around her. He knew she wasn’t a big drinker so she was the last one he thought he would find. It seems she was dragged too by her friend and roommate, Ino. Ino looked visibly drunk already. She was laughing loudly, her head tilted back, and leaning onto Sakura. He could see the lights glare off of the jade pendant on her neck as she drunkenly flailed around. </p><p>His gaze broke as Naruto came back, two drinks in hand, and extended his arm for Sasuke to take one.</p><p>He put the cold rim of the glass to his lips, tipped, and swallowed. The burn was strong as it went down and he resisted the urge to cough and gag. He was not a big drinker himself and didn’t know how people could down the fiery drinks like it was water. He turned to see Naruto down it in almost one gulp, slamming his cup onto the table. Sasuke looked at him in disgust.</p><p>The night went on as Naruto kept ordering round after round, insisting that he drink. He felt himself loosening up, his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton in a pleasurable way. He had been buzzed on booze before, but not for quite a long while. The floor began to feel unsteady under him a bit and it took some practice for him to find his center of balance.</p><p>His gaze slowly lead back to her during the night.</p><p>She was wearing a tight red dress, modest sized black heels. Her hair was curled and pinned up, leaving some small strands to hang on her nape. She had just a hint of makeup. She was picturesque. Her cheeks flushed from the alcohol and her lips a cherry red. She had been drinking as much as him, laughing loudly and talking to her friend Ino who was situated beside her.</p><p>He suddenly felt an elbow nudge him hard, and he flinched out of his focus.</p><p>“Sasuke, get your ass up and ask her to dance.” It was the blond idiot. His words were slurring, but he had enough cognition left to spur on his best friend. “I see how you look at her. How you feel about her is written all over your face, go to her.” It must’ve been obvious if the most oblivious man on the planet noticed it as well.</p><p>Naruto gave him a hard shove out of his seat. He stumbled onto the floor, barely catching his balance and wheeled around to give him a death glare. The blond responded with an idiotic grin, white canines front and center. He was too drunk to argue. Naruto motioned to shoo Sasuke off before lifting his cup to down the rest of his liquor, his adam's apple bobbing as he tilted his head back and gulped, slamming the cup down when it was fully drained.</p><p>Sasuke defeatedly turned around and walked towards the table of giggling females. It was loud out towards the other end, he was almost unable to hear his own thoughts. Ino spotted him and gave Sakura a bump of the elbow. She looked up and locked eyes with him. There was a heat lingering in the air between them. </p><p>Sasuke was not a man to ask for anything, usually when he did speak it was short and blunt, but his eyes could speak louder than his voice. He made eye contact, and his dark eyes spoke a wordless command. She obliged. Standing up and abandoning her blond friend, she waded out into the dance floor, stalking towards his retreating form. Her tantalizing hips swayed side to side.</p><p>Strobe lights were flashing, obscuring her view, but the focus on his eyes never ceased.</p><p>She took his hand and both were shocked when their fingers laced together like they belonged there. Her skin was smooth, soft, and like porcelain next to his. She was so dainty and fragile as if she might break if he came close enough.</p><p>Her overwhelming smell of her vanilla perfume barely masking her natural feminine scent, which was so unique he often failed to put a finger to. He subtly inhaled, hoping she wouldn't notice.</p><p>They began to dance, swaying in the rhythm that was unlike the music and the ruckus around them. Her hands rested on his neck, almost curling into the dark hairs at the nape of his neck. His splayed respectfully around her hips. They were wide and round under his fingers, and he had to hold back the urge for his hands to travel. He hoped she couldn't feel the goosebumps that had formed there. Her lips were so close to his, her breath ghosting softly over his face, the smell of alcohol strong.</p><p>He looked into her eyes and saw the same sultry look, mirroring his own. The alcohol had loosened their inhibitions, stripping away the mask they had both held up and exposing their true desire. She had wanted him just as much this whole time. The space between them started to close as he angled his mouth to fit perfectly with hers.</p><p>When their lips met Sasuke swore he saw stars burst behind his eyelids. </p><p>Her lips were as soft as he imagined. He tasted the alcohol on her tongue as she opened up to him nearly instantly, wasting absolutely no time to taste him. The kiss was messy due to their inebriation but filled with fire. Her hands were in his hair, gripping the strands painfully, as she tried to push him closer. She almost gasped at how soft his dark locks were. He growled into her mouth from the pain, and she moaned, the vibration traveling straight to his groin. Her body arched into his, closing the remaining space and he swore they fit like lock and key. He could feel his pulse hammering through every inch of his body.</p><p>He resisted the urge to back her, through the crowd, and into a wall and grind against her. He gripped on to her hips almost painfully as their tongues did a sinful dance. Her breath came out and small puffs into his face, it smelt like alcohol mixed with her.</p><p>He didn’t question what this was or what this would mean, all he could do is feel and drown in her bottomless depths. Something dark inside him knew he had to have her right now.</p><p>They were so drunk she nearly stumbled into him with every step as they exited, gripping his shirt hard for balance with perfectly manicured nails. On the way out he had glanced briefly to Naruto who had been spectating, and gave him a death glare for so shamelessly staring. He gave them a toothy grin and Sasuke resisted the urge to march over to him wipe it off his idiotic face. Naruto gave them a thumbs up as to say it was okay to leave and Sakura laughed next to his ear at the gesture. They exited right after. The metal unmarked door almost slamming behind them.</p><p>He had stopped briefly to push her against the wall outside the club to ravish her. She giggled at his impatience. He was becoming more and more forward.</p><p>Her fingers tangling in his belt loops to possessively pull his hips to hers. She groaned into his mouth at the friction, feeling how hard he was against her. He caught her bottom lip in between his teeth as a response.</p><p>“Sasuke, not here,” She managed to gasp out against his mouth, suddenly coming to her senses. He paused, then grunted and grabbed her hand to lead them to his dorm, her fingers intermingling with his again.</p><p>When they finally reached his dorm his hands fumbled with the key. Her mouth on the back of his neck distracting him as he got the key in the slot, turning the lock with a click.</p><p>He knew Naruto kept condoms in his desk drawer, boasting that he had tons of sex when Sasuke had not yet seen him so much as even interacted with a girl that went beyond rejection. He didn't think Naruto would even notice if one was missing. </p><p>He closed the door as she sat on the edge of his bed. He switched on the light to see what he was doing. When he looked up to her he almost forgot how to breathe.</p><p>She reached behind her and pulled the pins out of her tresses so they cascaded down her back, and shook out her curls. She was beautiful in the dim fluorescent lights, the shadows bending and curving around her frame. Her delicate, arched eyebrows raised, as if daring him to make the next move. He approached her quickly before sweeping her in his arms and sealing their lips together. In the kiss he didn’t know when he ended and she began. It was less desperate than it was at the party, and they took time to explore each other.</p><p>He backed her on the bed and settled between her legs. She arched up against him, trying to gain friction, just as impatient as he had been when he pushed her up against the wall of the club. He pulled his shirt over his head, bending down to plant kisses down her jawline. He hands reached up to touch him and he jumped when her fingers gently brushed over his nipples. He was so sensitive everywhere she touched shot electricity down his spine. </p><p>Her shirt was next and then her bra. She saved him the drunken embarrassment and reached around to unhook it herself. And when the fabric sifted down, unveiling what lay beneath, Sasuke pounced. His hands drew up to cup her gently, his thumbs brushing her peaks, causing them to draw back and pucker. The gasps coming out of her parted mouth suggested he was doing something right. </p><p>He kissed his way down, nipping and sucking her collar bone and laving his tongue over her shoulder. When he finally reached his destination he didn't waste a second before descending. </p><p>He drew her nipple into his mouth, sucking gently before grazing his teeth on the way out, and felt smug when she responded with a gasp before thrusting her chest towards him, her back arching like a bow. He brought his hand up to tweak the matching one between his fingers, earning another pleasurable sound. As his mouth was on her nipple he reached down to rid her of her pants. </p><p>He worshipped her breasts with hands, mouth, and teeth until she was a writhing mess underneath him - her head thrown back and lips parted. He blew on a nipple slicked with saliva and it was almost too much for her, she swore she could come just from that.</p><p>His hand inched down, rubbing and caressing as much skin as he could, as his mouth fitted against her neck - kissing and licking along her jawline again before lifting his lips back with hers.</p><p>It was when his hand reached to rub a finger against her underwear, brushing the damp patch that had risen in the silky fabric to find where he believed to be her clit, that he realized she was crying. The quiet noise causing him to tilt his head up.</p><p>One tear followed by many as she brought her hands up to her face to hide a sob. It was like a flip had switched. He backed away to sit on the bed. The thin, twin-sized dorm bed left little room and his legs dangled over the edge like a pendulum.</p><p>Feeling a wash of panic and confusion swimming with the alcohol in his brain as he stumbled over his words.</p><p>“Sakura-“</p><p>She flinched away from him as if she was burned when he attempted to reach out, his stand stopping just short of her shaking form. He dejectedly dropped it to the bed. Backing up into the other end she brought her knees to her chin in an attempt of hiding. It was so quiet that he could hear his own heart hammering in his ear - his breaths coming out in short bursts - her tears silently falling onto the sheets. He just sat, staring helplessly in confusion, unable to say or do anything. His lips drawn in a tight line. The pause was so suffocating it felt like he couldn’t breathe, the tension mounting in the air. A millisecond felt like hours between them.</p><p>Suddenly, she broke the silence in a hurried fashion.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I just- I have to go,” Mascara tinted cheeks mixed with the rustling of clothes as she rushed to get dressed, he could see the terrible tremble in her hand as she struggled with the zipper on her dress after she slipped it over her shoulders. He got up to help her but she pushed him away. She grabbed her purse from the back of a chair and left. He sat there, numb, and trying to catch his breath, his brain unable to process what had just happened.</p><p>
  <em>He didn’t try to stop her.</em>
</p><p> </p>
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